My 10 (Adorable) Quirks

February 27, 2013

i think the fact that i'm quirky makes me charming.  right?  i admit, some of my habits are a little weird.  but i can't be the only one!  tell me you share some of these:

i have to order last.  even when i'm 100% sure on what i want, i have to make everyone at the table order before me.  it stems from me changing my mind when i hear what other people get (in case they get something i like and then i can just try theirs and get my other choice) but i still do it even when i know i won't change my mind.

i have to finish things immediately.  i cannot pause movies, i cannot stop in the middle of a book, i have to have all the laundry done the same day, i can't organize half a room and then come back the next day to finish.  i can put off starting it forever, but once i start, it has to get done in one sitting.

i eat the same things over and over.  and buy the same things.  once i find something i like, i don't change.  i always buy the same mascara.  if i'm in a peanut butter and jelly mood, i'll eat it for every meal for a month.

never go to panera bread with me.  the level of ocd with which i eat a bread bowl would make you stab me with a fork.  there's a system involved, people, you can't just dive into the soup all willy nilly and be left with a giant pile of unused bread at the end that doesn't taste good without being dunked in the soup.  it takes me like 40 minutes.  but some days, i get the kids peanut butter and jelly.  you can go with me on those days.

i won't touch anything on a cta train.  or bus.  i will sit, lean against things, hold on to my friends, try not to move until the train is at a complete stop, but i will never ever touch the handles, doors, rails, seats, nothing.  even if i have hand sanitizer, even if i can wash my hands immediately.  you can never fully clean the cta off you.

i think inanimate objects have feelings.  i.e., i can't throw away stuffed animals from ex boyfriends.  it's not the bears fault, poor thing would be sad in a dumpster!  i donate them to good homes instead.  if it has a face, it has feelings, because apparently i was read the velveteen rabbit one too many times.  except dolls, all they feel is evil and hatred.

i only drink using my left hand.  i'm right handed, but all drinks must be in my left hand.  there's a reason, but i can't tell you.  i haven't been caught with a drink in my right hand for at least 2.5 years.

i clean the toilet before i go out for the night.  what?!  you never know if you're going to need it when you get home!

i hide money.  like some depression era mattress storing bank mistrusting little old lady, i hide cash around my apartment.  always the cash that my dad gives me at holidays or at the casino.  it's in books, drawers, the freezer.  surprisingly, it is not under the mattress.  i have no idea why i do this.  i probably don't even remember where it all is.  (drunk me also hides $20s in each of my coats after every winter, with post its that say beer money.)

i get a shamrock shake every year.  i hate them.  every year, i get it and remember "ew now i know why i don't get them, they taste disgusting."  yet every year, i see the neon green photo on a mcdonalds sign and decide that i must have a shamrock shake.  this time is coming up soon.  lesson never learned.

come on, i can't be the only one.  what are your adorable quirks?


February 17, 2013

well today is the very first monday of Leeann's new link up, Monday Morning Gossip!  and this saturday was BeadQuest - a bead collecting mardi gras themed bar crawl.  oh yes, another bar crawl.  i live for them, and for a good theme.  we did a fantastic job if i do say so myself.  made it the whole day, every bar, and got all 9 beads and then some.

Tara and i winning.  all 9 beads!

billy was winning too

now go link up with Leeann!

5 Completely Irrational Fears Post

February 12, 2013

my number one biggest fear of all time is - lawn gnomes.  yes, i run screaming from lawn gnomes like most people run from moving spiders or snakes. (which, ironically, i have no problems with either of those.)  and it's because lawn gnomes, besides just looking creepy, also come alive when the lights go out and kill you in your sleep.  obviously this fear can be traced directly back to a particularly vivid episode of goosebumps.  damnit goosebumps.  because of you i have to change the channel every time those stupid travelocity commercials come on.  don't even get me started on gnomeo and juliet, i'd rather bite my own fingernails off than sit through that.  i've always hated dolls too.  these things with eyes that follow you - just get rid of them people.  you'll thank me when they can't come slit your throat at night.  and true story, i wouldn't even google a photo of a lawn gnome to put on here, that's how much they terrify me.

australia.  i cannot fathom why everyone has a burning desire to visit australia.  ignoring the fact that it was largely uninhabited until great britain started stashing its prisoners there, i watched the 10 deadliest creatures on the planet and pretty much all of them reside in or around australia.  while normally i don't have a fear of spiders or snakes, i certainly don't want to die at the hands of one you don't even see coming while vacationing in the land down under.  i'll just stick to outback steakhouse, kthanx.

elevators.  for some reason, which i actually do not know the reason behind, i hate elevators.  i deal with them, but only because i work on the 36th floor.  but somehow i've convinced myself, despite the fact that it's never happened, that i'm going to be trapped in an elevator for eternity.  before i get into an unknown elevator, i have to check the top and make sure there's an escape route, because apparently if i was ever trapped in an elevator i would instantly turn into Ethan Hunt in mission impossible and climb out to the safety of the floor above me after i pry open the doors, even though i have no upper body strength to speak of and a debilitating fear of heights.  i did title this post irrational.

flying.  although, perhaps this one is not so irrational.  people were not meant to be up in the air, otherwise we would have wings.  gravity is my friend.  it's not actually a fear of flying though - it's a fear of crashing, burning, blowing up, and dying.  totally different.  my mom makes me wear gloves if i'm with her, because i dig my fingernails into her during takeoff and landing.

corn mazes.  have you seen children of the corn?  it was filmed in iowa.  i don't know how you people do it, live where there's no streetlights and you have to turn your high beams on to drive at night.  shudder.  but specifically, i'm terrified of the corn mazes that pop during halloween.  haunted houses are fun and i'm all about things jumping out at me, but corn mazes aren't too heavily guarded.  a real serial killer could sneak in the side and chase you with a chainsaw, and you're going to realize just a little too late that that chainsaw has real blades on it.  no thank you.

so, irrational things that could kill me is what i'm afraid of.  one of these 5 ways, that's how i'm going out my friends.  any bets on which one it'll be?  what are you irrationally afraid of?

6 Things I Do Not Love

February 6, 2013

i just cannot get over some of the things other people do on a daily basis.  it makes me wonder how they function in life without getting trampled by an elephant at the zoo. (because in my mind, these stupid people always climb into animal cages at the zoo.) so, my list of things/people i do not love.  tell me i'm not alone in this!!  anything you would add?

the process of getting refunds.  you sure as heck had no trouble getting that money out of my account in 2.7 seconds, so why does it take 3 weeks after i've returned an item to get my refund?  (except target, you rock target.)

paying cover at bars.  why?  when there's no band, no super awesome drink deals, nothing.  just because you think you're a new cool clubby place?  well no, i'm not doing it.  even if it's only $5, that's an entire drink, or if it's at houndstooth, an entire pitcher.

answering the phone.  seriously, just text me.  and don't leave voicemails either.

carpet.  i hate carpet.  i want hardwood floors and tile everywhere.  carpet is gross and i cannot wait to be rid of it and it also needs to learn how to clean itself.

people who don't plan and who don't follow instructions.  i'm a planner, i love planning.  so i don't mind when someone says "oh i don't care, you just take care of it and tell me what to do."  well that's all well and good, but then do what i tell you to.  just because i can plan and i'm not lazy, i'm not doing your job and my job.  if i wanted to do that, i wouldn't have included you in the first place.

the greenpeace people.  i'm sure what you're doing is all well and good, but no, i have no extra money to save the polar bears, especially when you stop me on the street and it's 11 degrees and freezing rain.  tell the polar bears to move to chicago, they'll be just fine.

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