10 Things I Judge You For

3.20.2013
there are certain things in this world that i just don't understand.  and i'm not even going to pretend that i'm not a judgmental person.  i absolutely am.  so are you, just admit it.  as i told Sammantha, i don't judge people based on religion or things like that, but yes, i judge people for being ginger (ahem, Tara), chewing with their mouth open, etc etc.  here's my list of things i will just never understand.  what's on your list?

and if you're guilty of something on this list, I'm no-so-silently judging you.

watching girls (the show.)  i did, in fact, watch all the episodes - it's only 20 - but i don't get it.  i'm sorry.  maybe that's more of a judgment on me, i just can't understand what all the fuss is about.  hannah is annoying, marnie is pathetic, jessa is crazy, and shoshanna is the only one i like and she's nuts too.  give me my satc any day.

making pinterest boards of weddings and babies when you're single.  slow down.  there will be plenty of time for that.  

poor grammar.  and spelling.  obviously not on a blog, but in real life.  if you're writing something like, oh i don't know, legal documents, i expect you know know the difference between your and you're and there and their.  it's actually not complicated.  and judgment does not have an e in the middle for the love of god.

shopping at american apparel for more than costumes or leggings.  i'm sorry, their clothes are skanky and weird and their display windows scare me. (note my correct use of "their")

eating mayonnaise.  just, yuck.

owning more than one cat as a single girl.  really, look who's talking, right?  i should embrace this one but i admit i still feel judge-y about single girls with lots of cats.  lots of dogs though, totally legit.

celebrity baby names.  apple is a fruit.  rainbow is a meteorological phenomenon.  denim is a fabric.  pilot is a career.  banjo is an instrument.  seven is a number.  none of the above are acceptable names for a human child, and you being famous doesn't change that fact.

owning crocs.  that shouldn't surprise you.

hashtagging on things that are not twitter.  Tara and i do this all. the. time. we hashtag text messages like it's our job.  i've probably used one on this blog.  i judge myself for it, because it's completely illogical.

ordering ridiculously complicated starbucks drinks.  if it takes you longer to order it than it takes for them to make it, i hate you.  it's coffee.  if you don't like the taste of coffee, stop ordering coffee.


what about you?  guilty of these?  what do you judge people for?

43 comments:

  1. I don't eat mayo...I use miracle whip. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sorry a Mayo person, maybe should have a survey!

      Delete
  2. I love this! So honest and true. I agree with every single one of these! I judge others based on how they talk to me. If they are gossiping about everyone under the sun, chances are they are gossiping about you also!
    XO

    ReplyDelete
  3. I agree with you on many many of these points (ok not gonna lie....all of them) especially the last one. I worked as a barista for a few years and I HATED the people who would order something like: venti mochaccino, soy, extra chocolate, extra whip, 4 Splenda and two ice cubes. Kill yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Amen, amen, amen. To all of these. And I DO judge bloggers based on spelling and grammar. To play off your hashtag judge, #sorryimnotsorry. But really. Not sorry.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I'm with you. I think we could be the same person. BUT. Judgment can be spelled either way -- just sayin'.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ha! Love it! The whole coffee thing cracks me up! I love it when it's a totally professional looking older guy in front of me, ordering some crazy foo-foo coffee drink, then I order a black coffee! Makes my day!

    ReplyDelete
  7. I'm judging people for liking their own instagram pictures just to up their like counts hahah That's my current pet peeve!

    ReplyDelete
  8. oh my gosh THANK YOU. Agree with EVERY SINGLE ONE!! That's really funny about the hashtag comment because literally 5 minutes ago before I read this post, Chris yelled from the next room "Why do people use hashtags on Facebook? It just makes them look like douchebags" hahaha I'm going to have to show him this lovely post of yours :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Hahaha oh my gosh I think I agree on every single point! We watch Girls but if we miss a week, I don't even blink an eye. I'm not hooked. Soon enough I think we will drop it from our DVR.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I was a barista in high school and the coffee thing is my BIGGEST pet peeve EVER. Also, ordering something sugar free with skim milk and then asking for extra whip cream defeats the purpose! no. no. no. stop. And definitely feel you on the crocs thing!

    ReplyDelete
  11. I worked at a law firm for a year and I couldn't believe the amount of documents I had to revise with spelling and grammar mistakes

    ReplyDelete
  12. lol. you may judge me because i wear disney crocs to work. yes work. ahahahaha... they're the ugliest shoes invented but yet they are comfy as hell.

    ReplyDelete
  13. so i was totally under the impression that we could be friends. but then i read the first 2 and i maaay fit the bill...oops. i do have a pinterest wedding board which i am totally proud of i might add. as for girls, i just posted about how similar i feel to marnie and how much i love her. if it wasnt for her, i wouldnt like the show at all.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I watch American Idol and the other week Mariah Carey was like "hashtag pow." like in conversation? no.

    ReplyDelete
  15. At least you gave us props for our hashtags! Seriously though we may be getting #OutOfControl about those... lol also don't judge me for being a Ginger cause I am rocking it!

    ReplyDelete
  16. I eat mayo. Sorry. :(
    I definitely agree with a lot of these though.

    ReplyDelete
  17. These are so funny..but I agree with all of these! I also love how regular people are mimicking celebrities and names their kids odd names as well. In fact this girl down the street named her kid butterfly. I just don't get it, hopefully this trend dies out soon!

    ReplyDelete
  18. i'm judging you for judging me for watching girls.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Haha I love this! My best friend loves Girls and I tried...I really tried. Pretty much everything on this list I judge as well and HATE mayo!!!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I like Girls DESPITE it not having anyone worthy of me liking them. I like it because it's so awkward and it's also like a train wreck. I can't relate to any of them but I have to watch.

    Frou frou Starbucks drinks make me insane.

    YES to pinterest boards and grammar.

    Mayo all the way though.

    ReplyDelete
  21. LOVE this! Eating mayo...haha I'm a judger of that too! Just ewwww. I am totally that person who has been known to get a little hashtag crazy though, most in blog posts, not on Fb.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Mayo...love it, just had it with my BLT.
    Coffee love it too, skinny vanilla lattes or black with 1 cream, 1 milk...chewing with your mouth open, when I see someone do that I want to put one hand on top of "their" head and under their chin and shut their gob! Girls? Watched it once. I miss my girls from SATC.:(
    Hastagging, I'm a dunce at it. Love your blog, glad I stumbled upon it one sleepy morning at work!

    ReplyDelete
  23. I'm guilty of eating mayo, haha.
    Hashtagging outside of twitter (or instagram) drives me INNNNSANE!
    I cringe anytime I see a facebook status with a hashtag! Just, no.

    ReplyDelete
  24. haha love this!! I am a judger as well and I embrace it...I do eat mayo however so judge away :)

    ReplyDelete
  25. I agree with all of these! except- I like mayo.. but in limited quantities, and although I use hashtags while not on twitter I think it's stupid too.. and judge myself every time I do it haha

    ReplyDelete
  26. Something must be in the air because a ton of us bloggers are writing posts like this haha! Loved it! Preach it!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I have a babyshower, wedding, and maternity picture board and I'm single! I use it as a way to catalog the things and ideas I like now, so if the time ever comes, I'll have something to look back on!

    When I'm getting married or having a kid, I'll be too busy to sit on my butt and pin!

    ReplyDelete
  28. I love this! I was actually thinking about doing a post like this next week!! Great minds.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hahah I love this! Hashtags really are getting out of control!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Ugh, I loathe Crocs, I instantly think of white trash mowing the lawn when I see them (I have no idea why). You forgot people who go to Starbucks and don't know how to order.

    Also, #totallyguilty. I judge myself for it as well...

    ReplyDelete
  31. i watched Girls for a few episodes and then wondered why it was so popular...it's so boring and ordinary.

    ReplyDelete
  32. haha these are great! Totally feeling you on all of them (though my son totally rocks the crocs). And A to the Men about using their correctly. Thanks for that, it's been a while since "I seen a post wear they're weren't errors like that."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ...and right now I'm judging myself for using the word "totally" twice in one line...

      I also judge people who spell judgment like judgement (including planet fitness)

      Delete
  33. I was so excited to read this b/c if there's anything I like, it's judging others. But I'm a little concerned b/c I'm guilty of lots of these things: I watch Girls, eat mayo (not on the reg, but on something like a BLT, hell yes) and find hash tags popping up all over my blog #mybad. I think we can still be friends though, since the poor grammar one will NEVER get old.

    ReplyDelete
  34. welll FUCK. Not only am i a ginger, i have both of the boards and i like mayo.
    judge away./// :)

    ReplyDelete
  35. lol this is amazing!! Hashtagging off of Twitter is definitely something that bothers me. Apparently Facebook will start that feature, too, so it may be used more!

    ReplyDelete
  36. Hey jerk, I LOVE hash tagging on my posts!! hahaha No, I know it's totally pointless and I think that's why I do it, it's just funny to me.

    Also, major mayo lover here (i know, so gross.) aaand I'm curious about the Girls hype and have been planning on starting it soon. But believe me, I have no expectations - SATC will always be #1!

    ReplyDelete
  37. Improper use of hashtags will be the death of me.

    ReplyDelete
  38. LOL! So I'm (newly) single, but I still have a Pinterest wedding board, but its private so people can't judge me for still holding onto something that will probably never happen! And I'm the SAME way with grammar/spelling. I can't spell for the life of me, but spell check and knowing grammar rules saves me.

    -AJ
    FitTravelerAJ.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  39. Wow... so many comments... I got a cramp in my hand just trying to scroll to the bottom! Anyway... your hilarious! (just kidding... I know it's "you're"...)

    Something I read on your blog the other day made me think, "Hmmm... this girl knows her grammar!" Poor grammar is frustrating to me, too!

    ReplyDelete