7 Life Rules I Wholeheartedly Believe In

6.16.2013
1. girls who proudly proclaim they have no female friends cannot be trusted.  ever.  it's one thing to have more male friends or to generally get along with guys better.  that's true for me.  but women need other female friends, even if it's just one great one, and any girl who says "i don't have any girl friends, i just don't get along with girls" like it's a badge of honor to not have these friends cannot be trusted and is psychotic.  so run far, far away.  there is no exception to this rule.


2. 

3.  like saying you have no female friends, anyone who says they don't like any animals also cannot be trusted.  none??  dogs, cats, dolphins, frogs, elephants, lizards, horses, cows, bluebirds, electric eels - you can't think of one non human creature you like?  nope, cannot. be. trusted.  you know who didn't like animals?  jeffrey dahmer.  and ted bundy.

4.  i do not believe that "if you have nothing nice to say you shouldn't say anything at all."  i do believe that some people are stupid and others are just plain mean.  if it's my job to point it out to you because you fail to notice that the rest of society hates you for acting like an idiot most of your life, so be it.

5.  all doors, but especially bathroom doors, need to be push to exit, not push to enter.  you have way too much faith in humanity if you honestly think they all wash their hands before touching the bathroom door handle to pull it open.  stop making my life hard!  p.s. i thought all doors are supposed to be push to go out anyway, ya know, in case of fires.  apparently that's a lie...

6.  car alarms need to just stop.  when's the last time you even looked when one went off?  exactly.

7.

47 comments:

  1. AMEN to #7. I still look at my boyfriend of 7years and am like, "Wwwwwhhhhhaaaaaaattttt?"

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  2. Yes yes YES. Especially #4. Some of my associates at work expect me to baby them when I try to give them instruction, but it's just not healthy to sugarcoat everything! Some people need to be told that they are dumb and reminded that they should stop that. Right now.

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  3. I disagree with #1. I've only met one crazy girl who didn't have many female friends, the rest were awesome! It's harder to meet people as you get older. I only have a few close female friends. I do wish I had more but a lot of my friends are married, have kids, or have moved away. I definitely think there is an exception to the rule.

    I do agree with #3 and #4 though. Especially #3! I always found it weird when people claim to hate animals. How can anyone not love animals?!

    #7 can be true but at the same time it really depends. My fiancee and I knew we wanted to spend our life together after a month into the relationship. It really depends on the situation!

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    1. "not many" is different than zero! It's something about being proud of the fact that you have zero female friends, that's when you're in crazy territory. No one should be proud of that!

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  4. I hate when girls say they dont have any girl friends, or that they don't get along with other girls...I run away from them!

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  5. There is always an exception to rule #1. Growing up I have seen girls be catty and rude for no reason. Because of this I choose to have only a small group of close girlfriends.


    xo Emmy
    sweettartbeauty.com

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    1. But that is still having female friends! One or one hundred, that's all ok. The rule is for women who claim to have NO female friends at all. If you don't have one single other woman in this world you can turn to, it's because you're insane.

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  6. Hahaha yessss I hate #1 girl! My rule has always been, If she has no girl friends then she wants to have sex with your boyfriend. True 9 times out of 10.
    Sometimes I just love you way too much, this is one of those times.

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  7. Omg I love all of these! So, so true!!

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  8. Haha love these! I really hate being stuck in the bathroom with a door that you need to grab the handle to open. and 100% never trust a girl who says she has no female friends!

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  9. I couldn't agree more with them all but the last one especially hit home! It drives me crazyyyy. If you want spend the resr of your life with someone than what is the rush to spend at least five figures on one day! It took me long enough to wrap my head around it and I've been best friends with my fiance for ten years. Arggg

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    1. Yes!! Or make your bridesmaids buy $300 dresses and everything else only to get divorced a few months later... ugh. Maybe if you had known him more than 7 months?!

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  10. hahah "who didn't like animals.jeffery dahmer and ted bunny" too hilarious!! and yes!! to the last one!! It's such a risk to marry someone you have only known for a year one of my friend's sister got married in like 9 months and is now preggo...like 3 months after the wedding got pregnant..crazy!!

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  11. I feel like I don't have many friends due to the fact that they've all been flaky to me or the type who are drama queens and I have no time for that crap. It's so hard finding someone who is there for you all the time. My bff since 7th grade barely speak now. It's sad. I've invited her to play dates and no responses. It sucks.

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  12. i didn't have female friends...but only cos the village was mostly boys and the girls were like 5 years younger than me, then i moved and now i gots me girl friends...yea!!! also i don't like to be friends with any one who doesn't like animals...what's wrong with them???

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  13. I fully agree that you are crazy if you have no female friends. We all know someone like that and with few exceptions, they are psychos and likely shouldn't be trusted around husbands/boyfriends. I also question if men and women can truly be friends without one if them either currently or in the past wanting to sleep with the other. This is a tough one.

    I don't trust anyone who doesn't like dogs. How can you not?!?!

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  14. Another spot on post, girlfrand. I'm not saying I have a whole slew of girl bff's, but a couple close ones are all you need. I hate how girls would say that in college like it was something to be proud of...no one's proud of the fact that you're a snatch. And that Aziz meme? TRUE LOVE! He did a whole bit on this the last time I saw him and I was thinking of all the dummies I see on FB posting about true love w/ their man of like, 9 months. They've got about as much longevity as Brit and K Fed.

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  15. I have learned girls that say they are only friends with guys will try to sleep with your boyfriend. It's a fact.
    Totally agree with all your rules!

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  16. I agree in the bathroom door one. When I went to the races a few weeks ago I saw exactly 1 person other than me, wash their hands. It completely grossed me out. How can someone not like animals? At least some kind of animal. I tend to like almost all animals. I can't see having a snake as a pet. They aren't cute, cuddly and I'd prefer if my pet not to want to bite me, but basically other than that.

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  17. I have a FEW female friends. You know how us Scorpios can get.

    I like OP's animals. I will not own one for myself. I am terrible with pets. I can't do smells. Their hair. Sounds. Ugh...

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  18. Oh girrrl! I hear you. Everyone is getting married and prego, i'm like... you're 20, & just met. Lets relax. && seriously, milk or alcohol. ALCOHOL. every single time.

    xo. Kailagh

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  19. I'll drink to that (all of that). But especially the car alarm, last night there were 2 that woke me up. WTF

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  20. yes. ALL of these. especially those who don't wash their hands in the bathroom. gross.

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  21. It grosses me out when I catch someone leave the restroom without washing their hands. Just nasty.

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  22. OMG I so 100% agree with you on everything! I am a huge psycho about other people's grossness so not washing hands in a bathroom - totally uncool! And I agree about girls who have no girlfriends!!!

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  23. love this! #2 is great, and I love Aziz Anisari.. he makes a great point there.

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  24. I agree with all, but most especially #1.

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  25. you're literally the smartest person i know.

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  26. I was actually just thinking about my friendships through out my life this past weekend. Too funny. I'm a person who gets along better with guys & throughout my life I've always had 2 or 3 guys friends for every 1 girlfriend. I prefer guy friends, but I NEEEED my girlfriends, even though they are sparse. lol I agree with you. Any girl says she has absolutely no gf's is either crazy, or a skank, or worse, a crazy skank...which is normally the case. Loosey Goosey.
    I have to say I agree with all of your rules! Esp. 1, 3, & 7! That Aziz post! lol

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  27. I fully agree with every single one of these...especially number 1.

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    1. Thanks Amber, I'm glad you agree!!

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  28. LOL I'm totally on board with this list! And I love me some Aziz! I've seen him do standup a few times. Always hilarious!

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  29. Agree with ALL of these! Especially #5 I squirm and squirm trying to figure out how to not touch the door and get out safely! And then I pull out my hand sanitizer for the back up!

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  30. haha #2 & 7! :)
    xoxo Aimee
    bowsandbeau-ties.com

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    1. You can find the best stuff on pinterest!

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  31. I agree with #1. At this point in my life, I only have one female friend that I'd consider a great friend, and it is nice to be able to girl talk once in awhile. I do normally get along with guys better (they're just more easygoing), but I've found that most of the bitches who say they "don't get along with girls" are generally the problem.

    Lol @ #7. Funny, but kind of true.

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  32. haha that last picture is hilarious

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  33. 1. Yes.
    2. YES!!!
    3. Yes.
    4. Yes.
    5. Yes.
    6. Yes
    7. YES! YES! YES!

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  34. Aziz Ansari is HILARIOUS!

    I get along better with guys for sure, BUT I have several close girlfriends. But a girl with no girlfriends, well, that bitch can't be trusted. LOL!

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  35. #4 YES.

    #7 Girl, when you know you know. I promise. Also, I'm a lot older in this relationship than my last...so I definitely know ;-)

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  36. I love #4 and #7. I totally agree with all of them, but currently I'm loving #4 because some people just need to hear it!! You're such a great writer!!

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  37. AMEN, I totally agree with 1 and 3! I can never understand how some females are so proud to have NO other female friends, or how a person can flat out hate every specie of animal on the planet. Like, really? haha

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    1. Exactly!! you know those people are NEVER to be trusted!!

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