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7.29.2013

Arbitrary Lessons My Mother Taught Me

i really was never one to question my mother.  i was never the kid asking 'why?  but why?'  if my parents told me something, i accepted it.  oftentimes i think my mother would just answer my questions with the first thing that came to her mind, without realizing that i'd remember these arbitrary things and carry them into adulthood.

80 degrees is when you can wear shorts/skirts.  temperature really made no sense to me as a kid, i couldn't figure it out on my own.  65, 75, 85, whatever, it was all the same.  all i knew was 10 was cold and 100 was hot.  so i asked my mom when it was warm enough to wear shorts and she told me to stop asking and check the weather channel.  if it was 80, i could wear shorts.  i still think this in the back of my mind.  if it's 79, i will definitely be in pants. 

i have a stork bite.  there's a birthmark on the back of my neck, in the base of my hairline.  i've never seen it, but other people confirm it exists.  it's not like a regular one though, it's light pink in color, just a pinky patch of skin. (it's common, they really are called 'stork bites')  well of course this is what my mom told me it was, and since i'm adopted, i believed the stork brought me.  since i'm adopted and an only child, i still believe this.  the stork brought me.  i like this story.

i look good in orange.  i have heard that very few people look good in orange or yellow, but as a kid my mother always told me i did.  but she did all my clothes shopping so it really wouldn't have mattered to me anyway.  i have no idea really if i look good in orange, but i continue to believe it and buy orange and yellow clothes.

horizontal stripes make you look fat.  well... she was right about this one.  horizontal stripes make everyone look fat.  it probably didn't when i was wearing them at age 8, but at least she taught me early.


i wonder if my mother remembers that she taught me these things.  i should ask her.

21 comments:

  1. Haha, I'm terrified to think of the ways my mom has unintentionally influenced me. Here in Michigan, anything above a 60 is considered shorts weather!

    Michelle @ Mishfish13

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  2. My mother always made me look in the paper to see the weather of the day. If it was 65 and higher, I could wear shorts! Not 64, though. :) McDonalds was ALWAYS closed for painting. The one that she used to tell my brother and I was closed, was demolished last month. I had to take a picture and send it to my brother!!! ALSO, we were told that we were both allergic to cats (when we used to beg and beg for one). The one day we actually came into contact with a cat, we found out that both of us WERE allergic. Moms know best!

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  3. I agree with her...80 degrees = shorts! (I'm a Floridian tho so I'm not sure how valid my opinion is). It's funny how our mothers influence our thinking as adults ;-)

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  4. Phwaaa...you never fail to make me laugh...

    I wear flip flops constantly, no matter what the temp- shorts not so much- I wear flip flops in the winter, like even when its 60 degrees. :)

    I love the stork bite reasoning- goes perfectly with being adopted...so precious..

    Again..I love that your blog makes me laugh every single day! Thanks

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  5. I distinctly remember that it had to be at least 70 degrees out for me to wear shorts, which is a rule I still abide by. Anything less than that and I'm like, cover yourself up, I'm cold just looking at you.

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  6. I always try to give horizontal stripes the benefit of the doubt and every time I'm let down.
    Um, you don't like seafood?! Ok, ok, it's the only one thing we don't have in common. I'm over it ;)

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  7. i think all mothers teach their kids about when to wear shorts/skirts because i'm the same way!

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  8. haha my mother taught me mushrooms were the devil. i still have never ever tried one to this day.

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  9. HAHA this is a great post!!! I love seafood..shrimp mostly but my body says NO SPARKY

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  10. i don't know how you can dislike seafood! does that mean you don't eat sushi?!

    my mom's rule was always that i couldn't wear shorts unless it was 60 degrees. looking back that was a terrible idea on my part. i can remember a group of us standing around outside the school in 6th grade FREEZING because it was 60 degrees and we were all wearing shorts. we thought we were awesome.

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  11. Too funny! I believed everything my parents told me. I still to this day am terrified of swimming in rivers after my dad told me there are weeds in rivers that will grab your ankles and pull you under. Thanks parents. Thanks.

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  12. What if it's 75 and 100 zillion percent humidity?

    I love the smell of the ocean!

    RIGHT ON with the horizontal stripes. I own one horizontal striped shirt and I only wear it at home.

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  13. Your comment about shorts weather cracked me up!
    My mother's magic # was 76 degrees.
    How random!
    We could never figure out where the heck she came up with that number! Drove us crazy as kids!!!

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  14. ok that stork story is really f-ing cute. I don't even have anything sassy to say, that is just downright sweet. my mom pulled the same thing with us on the seafood issue, but once I moved out I gave it a try and now love it.

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  15. This is so funny! Oh mothers and their silliness.

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  16. 80 degrees for shorts?! what are you crazy?? 68+ is shorts weather for me.

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  17. ahhhh I love seafood! Haha yes I have to agree with some of these comments...80° is too hot already shorts are for anything over 60°

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  18. Us moms have power... I'm hoping and praying that the messages I've instilled in my girls are less weird than the ones I carry from my mom!

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  19. Oh my goodness! The same exact issue with seafood. My mom doesn't like it so I never had it growing up. Now I get nauseous just being around the smell of seafood.

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  20. so should you ever go to prison you'll look fabulous, right?

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