A Lesson In Movie Theater Etiquette

11.05.2013
my birthday is 2 days before the 2nd movie of the hunger games trilogy, catching fire, comes out.  which obviously is what i requested of john that we do for my birthday.  at some point.  not opening weekend of course, because my patience wears thin enough at the movies when it's not crowded.  i can only imagine how i'd behave in a packed theater. 

and that is why the last movie i saw (in theaters) was despicable me 2 with ruth on the 4th of july.  before that, i probably couldn't even tell you.  the hobbit?  suffice it to say, i see, max, 4 movies a year in the theaters.  usually it's about 2.  (and the last time i saw a movie on opening day was one of the pirates of the caribbean movie and we brought rum in for our drinks, so i didn't care about anything anyway.)  i wait for things to come out on netflix or i'll even pay for it on apple tv if i really, really can't wait.  but theaters are rough for me, and here's why:

people.


and you can probably infer the exact voice, dripping with disdain, in which i say that.  it's true, people in groups suck.  and this is never more evident than when you're in a crowded movie theater.  my biggest movie-going pet peeves:

this should go without saying but obviously not everyone has learned this yet - shut up.  i don't even need to elaborate on this.  you know better, so why are you still doing it?  stop talking.

if you're one of those people that leaves all the time, sit on the end!  i honestly don't care if people come in late or leave, i don't even notice - as long as they sit on the end.  if you know you'll have to pee, if you want popcorn/pop refills, if you're a doctor on call, if you (inexplicably) have a kid with you at a generally not for kids movie, do not sit in a middle seat and disrupt your neighbors by crawling over them the entire time.

children do not belong in r-rated movies.  stop.  period.  end sentence. 

applicable to so much more than just a theater - chew with your mouth closed.  i may not be able to see it in the dark theater, but i can hear it.  and that's just as bad.

if you're going to sneak food in, make it quiet food and for the love of god make it movie appropriate.  this is not the time to pull out your 6 inch tuna sub, man.  popcorn.  candy.  nachos and hot dogs are even acceptable.  this isn't the place for your smelly dinner.


i can't wait for catching fire to come out on video.  i waited until the hunger games did, but at the time i didn't know any better.  i must see this one as soon as possible.  please don't make it suck for me!  and a special shout out to theaters like the icon that has a 21 and over section in which you can drink the whole time and be away from children, and reserve your seats.  whoever decided that - you're my hero.

what's your biggest movie theater pet peeve?

(p.s. i routinely get made fun of for how i say 'theater' which to me is thee-aa-ter but apparently it's thee-ter.  which makes no sense because it's spelled with an a and i will continue to pronounce it as such.  at least i don't say 'pellow' and 'melk' like my mom and tara and the whole state of wisconsin.)

52 comments:

  1. People who play on their phones...that aren't on silent! I do NOT want to hear your text tone/ring tone/etc and some of these people are rude enough to answer their phone and sit there and talk like they're at home!!!

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  2. My biggest pet peeve is when the person in front of me reclines their seat so much their head is almost in my lap, or they keep moving around a lot while having their seat reclined and keep hitting me in the legs. Ugh, I'm with you - I think I have been to the theater about 3 or 4 times in 5 years because people irk me! I would much rather wait and watch a movie in the comfort of my own home.

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  3. ALLLLLL OF THIS. Oh and when I'm sitting in a seat and someone INSISTS on sitting RIGHT FREAKING IN FRONT OF ME and there are seats everywhere. Like you can't move down just a few seats? Oh and I say thee-aa-ter too!

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  4. i like going to movies - when it's a saturday afternoon or some random time that the theater's not full! lit up cell phones are my biggest movie pet peeve.

    i saw hunger games at the midnight showing though because i was DYING to see it!

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  5. Ugh I never ever go opening weekend of movies because the annoying people are all there and being extra annoying!

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  6. My biggest pet peeve is when a group of people (mostly younger people) come in and are super loud! They seem to forget that people paid to see/hear the movie.

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  7. hahaha I love how you just tagged this post "annoyed." my biggest pet peeve is teenagers... always trying to impress other teenagers by being as loud as possible. Thank God I never was one...

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  8. I strongly dislike going to the movies, it is ridiculously expensive and people continue to baffle me with their lack of acceptable social behaviour. Once I sat next to three people who pulled an entire bucket of KFC out of a bag 10 minutes into the movie and proceeded to chow down.

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  9. I hate the food thing too! I don't want to hear you open the can of pop that you snuck in!

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  10. Oh my gosh, yes! I've experienced all of these a million times in movie theaters and it really gets to me, I still go though, probably because I'm too impatient. There was one time when a kid came to see a movie and his parents let him play on his Gameboy the entire time. It was SO BAD.

    I really hope Catching Fire is good!

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  11. My biggest pet peeve for theaters (and public places in general) are crying babies/toddlers. Sorry if that makes me a jerk. And I wish more parents knew that it's actually okay to give your child a bit of Benadryl before a flight, so they sleep and instead of scream/laugh hysterically/cry for the next 8 hrs...

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    1. Well I hate kids so you came to the right place! Yes to the Benadryl! I never cried on flights and I went all the way to India at 10 months old. My dad (a doctor, it's fine) just knocked me out, no big deal!

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  12. This is why we are friends. I think the first time I truly realized I was an adult was when I tapped on these kids in front of me and told them I paid ten dollars to watch this movie and they better watch or leave. haha. and I go to bathroom about a billion times so I never sit further back than 3rd row and only on ends. But I will be at the movie on November 21st. They're doing a back to back showing with the first one and this one. But we go to the older theater that no teeny boppers have any interest in attending so it's all good.

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  13. All of those, plus the fact that we live in a country town where there is no cinema, are exactly why we just wait and stream them at home. The older I get, the less I can stand being in a crowd of people, sharing their germs and having to put up with their bad manners. But on the odd occasion that we find ourselves in the city and we end up in a cinema, I make sure that we don't see a newly released movie and we go in the middle of the day when no-one else is around. I completely avoid places like that during school and public holidays.

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    1. So true, the older I get the less and less I want anything to do with large groups of people, like going to the movies or the mall at busy hours. It's just not worth it! People in groups ruin it for everyone else - no manners at all.

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  14. I can't wait for Catching Fire! I don't want to go on opening weekend either, but they made us wait something ridiculous like 2 years for this movie, so I don't know how long I can put it off!

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  15. I hardly ever go to the movies, people suck. I'd rather stay home with no pants on and watch it on my couch.

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  16. Reason why I watch all my movies for free and on my laptop. Fuck that. I hate people and their disgusting ways.

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  17. so get this. i once went to a movie and this family in front of us legit took out a fucking COOLER and proceeded to have a full-on BUFFET DINNER during the movie. like, a WHOLE ROASTED CHICKEN and shit. how the hell did they sneak that shit in?! but damn it smelled so good and i was about to lean over and say: hey! bitches gotta eat so gimmie! LOL

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  18. I hate everyone at the movie theater. I honestly can't remember the last movie I went to see. I always wait until they come out of Netflix. I just don't have the patience...must people are assholes.

    I will be seeing Hunger Games though too!

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  19. The worst I have ever experienced was when someone pulled out a bucket of fried chicken in the theater. I have no idea how this women got it in, but it was awful. I only go to movies occasionally, and tend to go to the Sunday morning matinees. You can go out to breakfast & see the movie for the cost of a regular showing (or at least around here). So it is a win win because the only other people there are singles, or old couples. Added bonus, lots of empty seats!

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  20. People talking in the movies drives me nuts, along with someone kicking the back of my chair, sharing an armrest with a stranger or cackling laughter for something that really wasn't that funny.

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  21. I love seeing movies in theaters but the people I could definitely do without. I HATE the people who talk through the whole thing, bring their children when its not appropriate, and the overly enthusiastic PDA people. My fav time to go without crowds is 10/11 am on a weekday, there's no one!

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  22. Yeah you just summed it up great! I hate when people smack their fucking food or rustle their candy bags. I want to scream at them. Movie theaters are a great bad idea. I wanna go to yours though!

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  23. Perfect- annoying people are the biggest reason I hate going to the theater! You are playing with fire if you go to the Hunger Games opening weekend (I went opening weekend last movie- BIG mistake)

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  24. We still have never taken Emily to a movie because there is no way she would sit through one quietly yet. And I don't know anyone who pronounced theater "thee ter". It's thee a ter!

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  25. I pronounce is like thee-aaa-ter as well. But, I also like to pronounce ALL the letters in champagne... and lasagna. Don't put letters in a word if they're supposed to be silent. They serve no purpose in life.

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  26. Irrelevant, but I totally say pellow. And I pronounce theater with the 'a.' Is this a southern thing because that's how I've always heard people say it?

    Ok back to how people annoy the shit out of me. Talking incessantly during the movie, whether it be to the person next to them (we can hear you whispering) (sometimes I am guilty of this... if I'm drunk, shit happens) or when they answer phone calls just to say 'hey, I'm in a movie, let me call you back.' That's what texting is for! Oh and when the person behind me kicks my chair the entire movie. I understand an accidental one, but c'mon!

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  27. I say theater the same way you do and no one's ever said anything was wrong with it.

    I hate it when people bring candy in plastic wrap, then they slowly try to quietly unwrap it which is impossible. Just rip the stupid plastic off and get it over with already.

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  28. MFD says pellow. It drives me insane. I'm like where are you FROM?

    I see one or two movies a year in the theater for all of those reasons, plus the fact that I could feed a third world country for a week on what it costs for two people to go to the movies at night and have snacks. And I like to be able to pause things while I go to the bathroom or get something from the kitchen.

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  29. These are the exact reasons why I am holding off on seeing Catching Fire for at least a week. Can you just imagine all the little teenager groups packing the theater on opening night? UGH!

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  30. i hate when it's not crowded and someone comes and sits RIGHT in front of me!!!

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  31. I can't even tell you the last movie I saw in the thee-aa-ter for all of your reasons! People make it a suckfest! The loud chewing is the worst or when there are a ton of seats but they sit right next to you. Move, creeper!

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  32. 1. I say thee-uh-ter. Is that wrong??
    2. Love this and totally agree.
    3. Last week I went to the movies and there were all of like eight people in there. Just as the lights were going down a woman whispered something to her husband and he really loudly says "YOU HAVE VD??" It was hilarious. I think that's the only time I've ever laughed/talked inappropriately in a movie.

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  33. I couldn't have said all of that better. I hate when people talk during movies....I also hate when people put their feet on the back of your chair and constantly move around and it makes you move around. Just stop! I can't wait to see Catching Fire. I will wait a few days (at least I hope I can), but I must see it in the theaters too.

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    1. I think the effects will look really cool on the big screen, but I just have no desire to battle opening weekend crowds, they are awful!
      The chair battle is the worst, they just have no respect for the people around them!

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  34. Ugh, children in R-rated movies! I will never understand why parents do this. If you have to be 17 to go see them alone, then everyone in your party should have to be 17 as well.

    Also, the last movie I saw in theaters was Despicable Me 2 as well. Such a good movie.

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  35. I know this isn't going to help my serial killer case, but I say "pellow" I don't say melk though, just pellow.

    AND I can't believe there's a theater with a drinking section! I wish my local theater had that. (not that I go to the movies often either though. but still.)

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  36. Phones. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. PUT. IT. AWAY. (& on silent!)
    It's kind of okay during previews and such finish up your business, but once the movie starts, I'd really rather not see lights in my line of vision while I'm watching a movie. Just no.
    I agree with all of yours too. Only I'm one of those crazy bitches who hates crowds but still goes out in them! (opening night/weekend movies, concerts, black Friday..lol)
    A theater with a 21+ area is genius. Georgia needs one, more specifically my area of GA -so I can go to it.lol
    And theater,...I say thee-ayy-ter.

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  37. i burst into flames when someone sits RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME when there are 300 empty seats. this has happened to me SO many times. in a very empty theater, and I'll have my feet up on the seat in front of me because "no one will sit this close, there's SO many seats available" and then BOOM right into the chair that my feet are on. like really? not one seat over or one row down. like you need THIS seat? when you have hundreds of other options? I literally contemplate physically abusing them.
    other than that, i just hate noisy children and obnoxious teenagers that are TRYING to piss everyone off.

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  38. I say theater the first way too. There is a theater in Woodridge(burbs) that has single seats, you can eat & drink there and small children are not allowed in pG-13 or R-Rated movies after 6pm. I love that place so much :)

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    1. That sounds fantastic! I'd try that theater for sure haha. You say it like me! Does anyone else around here make fun of you? Chicago people think I'm so weird.

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  39. I always want to punch people in the face at movies. Who am I kidding I want to punch people in the face not at movies.

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  40. I'm going opening night because I am one of the crazies. People still annoy me though. I hate it when people smack their popcorn and talk too loudly, but my biggest pet peeve is people taking their shoes off in the theater. Excuse me, YOU ARE NOT AT HOME!

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  41. Laughing. So. Hard. I swear the last movie I saw was Harry Potter pt 2 for this exact reason...and someone brought a baby and another younger child into that one. Absolutely no sense. Go home and watch Barney or something equally as awful.

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    1. That's a pretty adult HP too!! Not like the first one where they were all kids. There is no reason to bring them to that!!

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  42. It's sooo annoying when people get up from the middle of a row! And ew yes chew with your mouth closed!

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  43. What?! "Thee-ter"? That's crazy talk!! I just recently saw Carrie but before that I can't remover what movie I saw in theaters last.... Holy cow evenatt can't remember hahaha and yes to all your lessons!!

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  44. I cannot stop giggling at your Darla GIF! And I'm with you, I'm not a fan of the movies because people are annoying.

    -AJ
    FitTravelerAJ.com

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  45. hahaha i love this and agree with (mostly) everything... HOWEVER... I'm the girl in the theatre eating a bag full of good ol' White Castles. Or McDonalds. or maybe some other obnoxious fast food that I want to eat in the darkness of the theatre as to maybe pretend like it's not really terrible food and i'm being healthy...??? hahah :)

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    1. Hahaha!!! If you can't see it, it doesn't count as terrible :) I can get behind that logic! I would still probably hate you though because I could smell it!!

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  46. I. LOVE. THIS. POST!!! Agreed on all counts.

    XOXO

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