On Being a Realist

Hello fabulous Not Entirely Perfect readers! Thanks to Steph for lending me her space. The last time I posted for Steph, I did a basic About Me. This is similar, but it's a re-post from December 2012 about my crappy qualities because you can't shine up a turd, can you? What can I say, I'm a realist.

I am fierce with myself. Like everyone, I show my strengths more than my weaknesses, but that doesn't mean I'm unaware of the places where I fall short or the character flaws that I have.

My blog naturally gravitates to a lot of things that are my strengths: productivity, organization, cooking, saying no, dissing Justin Bieber. A lot of people have said to me,  "How do you do all the stuff you do on a weekend?" To them I say, "How do you take a spin class at 5 am or run a 5k or divide a check by seven without using a calculator?"  Your triumphs could very well be one of my hot mess disasters. We can't all be good at everything, and if we were all good at the same things, that would suck. Because who would assemble furniture for me? I actually hate when people say, "Stop! You CAN do it!" One, let's be honest: I don't really want to. Two, no, I can't. Just like I can't hop on my purple Unicorn Wanda and take a quick ride to the moon.

If I try something a few times and don't get better at it, I say good day to it. Some things you just know in your gut you're not ever going to get the hang of, and when that happens to me, I'm okay with it. I don't beat my head against the wall or try it 59 more times. I'm not going to be good at everything I do. Part of life is playing to your strengths and knowing your weaknesses so you can avoid them. These are some of mine.

1. I am not arty or crafty. I am afraid of hot glue guns. I spaz when creation is in the air. I like to pin things on pinterest and imagine myself standing calmly before my assembled materials, wearing crisp white pants and a slim finely striped button down accessorized by a complementary chunky necklace, with my hair in a topknot I effortlessly fashioned myself. I gaze around serenely and pick up a tool to begin. Then I wake the F up and go look at something someone else has made.  Because it isn't happening. And I'll never wear white pants.

2. Blow drying my hair. My arms get tired, I always have resulting Uncle Larrys, and I'd rather just skip it. So I skip it. Every day.

3. I am very very bad at dealing with weak people and attention whores. I feel like punching them in the face. Sweet Brown ain't got no time for that.

4. Getting up at the crack of dawn to exercise. I lack the willpower and desire, and I am not going to be acquiring either of them. I can't even walk a straight line that early. Once I busted out some Billy Blanks at 6 a.m. and nearly broke my face and some glassware in my living room. I'd rather stay in bed for my own safety and to preserve my belongings.

So would Geege. Obviously.
5. My self pedis leave a lot to be desired.

6. I am unable and unwilling to keep my dogs off of furniture and beds. I'll deal with the hair, and so will you if you come over.

7. I can't hang anything worth a damn. Michelle has hung pretty much every picture and curtain rod in my house. The ones that are crooked are my masterpieces.

8. Using power tools. I'm like a baby trying to pilot a rocket ship.

9. I know every word to a lot of songs, but you don't want to hear me sing them. It's not a pretty sound.

10. My gift wrapping is an atrocity. Bags are my friend.

11. 5 + 3 x 12 = hand me the calculator. Math is a foreign language to me.

12. I'm impatient to the max and will lose my shit over it.

So there you have it. Some of my shatshiney qualities. And I'm okay with being bad at stuff. I like to know and acknowledge my blind spots so they don't bite me in the butt. Then I spend 98% of my time accentuating the positive: the things I'm good at doing, my natural proclivity for certain tasks and ways of thinking. I hope you do too.

It's sunny here today in Philadelphia, I hope it's sunny where you are too.

Come visit me at Life According to Steph.
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  1. I thought it was ALWAYS sunny in Philadelphia...? (I hate myself.)

  2. I definitely can't do the blow drying thing ever. No patience for it, whatsoever.

    1. My hairdresser cringes when I tell her I never ever ever do my hair.

    2. I have way too much/too thick hair. It'd take me at least a half hour.

  3. I'll join you on the island of calculators and gift bags. I couldn't nicely wrap a gift if it meant I would win a million dollars, womp.

    1. When we all lived at home, my BFF used to come over and wrap my gifts for me! I'm awful. If it doesn't fit in a bag, it's getting a bow slapped on the top. Boom.

  4. Agree with letting certain things go after a few attempts. I do not try certain things at all, like making a pie. Pie crusts have a gazillion calories and I will make crustless fruity creations instead.
    Anything too complicated will lose my interest and the project will go downhill fast.
    Ironing shirts- the dry cleaner people need to make a living, too!
    Excellent guest blog from a very prejudiced reader.
    Love Stephs MOMMA

    1. Crustless fruity creations actually sound delicious, that's a great idea! I might have to try that.
      Ironing is a waste of time, and I'd probably burn my house down. Dry cleaners to the rescue, every time.

  5. I love this!

    I have NO patience for whiney people. Buck up, little camper.
    I will never be a hostess where everything is perfect, matching table settings, cute dishes.
    I have the attention span of a gnat.
    I don't know how to file my nails.

  6. #6 YES!! that also counts for my car. sorry everyone!


  7. I love this. So many of these are me and I love the way you put it out there that try a few times and then move onto something else.

    1. Definitely! You can't be good at everything, so if you try a few times and fail, there's nothing wrong with admitting it's not important to you!

  8. Haha I love this! I can relate to practically the whole list for sure. except wrapping gifts...for some reason that is one talent I actually have.

  9. so true! embrace the negative...so then you can write off the shit you hate and be like, Hey, I'm working on it (while not working on it at all, muahahaha...or is that just me). Blow drying and math are the WORST.

  10. Just say No to morning workouts I can't do it!! Dog hair is everywhere in my house too, get over it or don't come over, he rules the roost! ;)