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12.02.2013

Careers I'm Ideally Suited For

being back at work after a long weekend really makes you think about what else you could be doing with your time.  i'd rather be organizing, watching netflix, napping, really anything that's an extension of the last 4.5 days.  i'm not ready for a full work week, i'm just not.  if only i could get paid to do what i really want to be doing.  like my top 7 careers i'd be just perfect for:

iphone app tester.  can i get paid for this, please?  i am constantly downloading apps, and then deleting the ones that can't hold my attention.  i just want to test all the things, is that so much to ask?  i only do this with free apps, of course, so if i could get all the paid ones for free too, that'd be awesome.

decider of vodka flavors.  i have a lot of good ideas, really.  i was infusing vodka with peppermint and vanilla long before flavored vodkas were a thing.  three olives vodka that taste like fruit loops?  i was doing that years ago and now someone made a whole bunch of money off of it.  i want to pick the newest flavors!

naming porn titles.  i don't know who comes up with these, but i want that job!!  free your willy.  forrest hump.  jurassic pork.  i could do that job, seriously.  i'd be fantastic.  (i realize the excellent search terms i'm about to get. greaaat.)

pinterest organizer.  nothing makes me crazier than pinterest pins that lead to nothing.  if i pin it, it means i want to know where the actual recipe, or dress, or diy steps, etc. is located!  i'd like to just sit around organizing everyone's pins.  making sure the links work.  putting them onto correctly categorized boards.  it's a service to humanity.

snark commentator.  probably the one thing i'd most like to get paid for - commenting on annoying facebook and twitter posts the things that everyone else is thinking.  kind of like what you'd read on an e-card.  i assume people still post such crap because they don't know any better.  again, i'd just be helping the world.

trivia host.  i always want to be one of those people that hosts trivia.  i could come up with great questions and lots of different ways to play.  especially xxx trivia, because it's hilarious and girls are disturbingly good at determining celebrity boobs.  (this is a great post for seo purposes...)  i probably could host trivia in a bar some nights.  but i want to do it as a full time career.  half trivia time, half live talk show with tara, 100% interactive drinking game.  you know you'd come.

target secret shopper.  it's not like i don't basically live there anyway.  and everyone would be so jealous of me.


i think any one of these i'd really excel at.  so if anyone out there would pay me for such services, you just let me know.  i'm waiting patiently by my phone.

what's your ideal career?

42 comments:

  1. These are perfect! I have actually thought about this before, and I came up with being that person who gets babies to smile for the photographer and traveling for work because there's nothing I like more than visiting new places and staying in hotels.

    I think yours are better.

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  2. app tester... YES!
    Ill taste rum/bourbons/white wines. Now we just need a tequila/red wine/whiskey taster and well have a full on business.

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  3. I want to be a secret shopper. Seriously how do people get those jobs?!

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  4. haha I love them all - but especially the Pinterest one - nothing makes more frustrated and annoyed when I finally go back to a pin that I pinned to, you know, actually use it and there is nothing there or it takes me to some hooky site.

    As for me, in some ways i kind of have it - blogging to review & doing surveys at home. Ideally I'd love for something a bit more sturdy and steady, but at least its something!

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    Replies
    1. That is nice, I love blogging, if only it actually paid that'd be great! Surveys are definitely a good way for some side cash too.
      The pinterest thing makes me bonkers, I just want to get to my information!

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  5. I almost found a way to be a legit secret shopper and it would have been amazing! I would be a great pillow or bed tester. I am a world champion sleeper. Or a kitty cuddler. Either way.

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  6. Those are all the best jobs ever! I wish I could be the vodka taste tester, then I'm sure I could come up with the wit needed to name porns.

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  7. These are amazing! I especially love the vodka tester and the Pinterest organizer. I always end up feeling cheated in some way when the link connected the the item I pinned goes to some website with nothing to do with the picture!

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  8. I've always wanted to be a secret shopper; Target would be my dream secret shopping trip. Those pins that go nowhere drive me crazy!! Why would someone pin it if they didn't even click on it??

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  9. The iPhone app tester sounds like so much fun! Sign me up!

    agirlandhersparkles.blogspot.com

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  10. oh, definitely the porn namer, professional napper, professional blogger, life coach (for those who need tough love because i'm good at berating people and making them feel like their decisions are all bad ones LOL)

    -kathy
    Vodka and Soda

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  11. Haha my ideal career would let me travel on someone else's dime and eat. Haha I love the Pinterest one though, I hate when I find something and it leads nowhere! I can't just make shit off a picture

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  12. ha! I hope you land one of these dream jobs real soon boo.

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  13. I love the porn movie title person, that is too funny.

    I want to be independently wealthy so I can be nothing, I did it for a month earlier this year and I didn't hate it at all.

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  14. these are all awesome career ideas! my dream job is to be a stay at home pug mom. still trying to convince the fiancé to pay me for that.
    -- jackie @ jade and oak

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  15. I want to be an app tester. Or a secret shopper!

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  16. I knew coming into this there would be something pertaining to organization! My ideal career would be to travel to various places and stay in hotels, fo free, and give my honest reviews on them. That'd be amazing.

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  17. haha heck yes! i will also taste test just about anything. and name anything. really anything fun, im up for.

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  18. Please stop! I am actually dying right! Porn namer?! Genius!

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  19. Haha, I love these! You're going to see a traffic spike thanks to some pervy teenage boys. I just know it.

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  20. Jurassic Pork. hahahahahahah That's awesome.

    I want to be a book reviewer.

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  21. I'm in the market for a new job. If these things were real jobs, I could definitely do solid number of them. I'm the best Pinterest organizer ever!

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  22. You can write snark on my Facebook friends allllll day long haha. Although that would be like shooting fish in a barrel, not fair to them right?

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  23. Haha I think anything to do with alcohol would be interesting, esp picking vodka flavors!

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  24. Yes! Yes! I will join your in your porn naming/app testing/pinterest organizing new firm. I'm in!

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    1. I feel like my firm would be staffed by a lot of bloggers. I like this plan!!

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  25. The porn name one is too funny! I would so love to get paid to Pinterest all the live long day!! I would love to be a book editor so I could get paid for all the books I read.

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  26. I'd be a secret shopper any day or a wine tester sounds pretty amazing too!

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  27. Um if you start a company that names porn movies, organizes pinterest, taste tests liquor, and does other awesome things, I want to work for you.

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  28. Oh my gosh the porn one hahaha. Vodka flavor decider sounds pretty great! I would love to taste test craft beers, or be a Sephora secret shopper (or just own a Sephora, really).

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  29. we could be a great team, you come up with new vod flavs and I'll taste test them. and by taste test I mean we'll just get drunk every night off the new flavs. sounds good to me!

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  30. Bahahah... snark commentator! Love it! Let's start this business together!!!! The world NEEDS us!

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  31. I would love to be a secret shopper. Or maybe a personal shopper. A Pinterest organizer would be awesome too! That stuff drives me crazy!

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  32. My friend decided last night she wanted to be a nail polish namer! How does that even happen? I almost applied to be a secret shopper for some extra holiday $$ but then I realized I am too lazy.

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  33. HELL YES to the Pinterest Organiser gig....nothing drives me crazier...well actually a few things do, but this is right at the top of my list!

    How about Travel Reporter....I could totally handle getting paid to travel!

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  34. omg. this post is awesome! I think I would love to be a professional taste tester! mostly for baked goods but for pretty much anything!

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  35. I would love to be a secret shopper. That would be so much fun. And decider of vodka flavors. That one is the best. I love vodka and this is a dream job!

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    1. Someone has to be some sort of quality control person, right?! I could taste test all the vodkas and tell them which flavors to do next. I'd be so good!

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  36. yes to interest organizer! i've always wanted to be the one who names paint colors… that has to be a fun job!

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  37. I could TOTALLY be a snark commenter too! Girl, let's do it!

    -AJ
    FitTravelerAJ.com

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  38. I'd like to be your coworker in naming porn titles and secret shopping target. We'd always be employee of the month!

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