today's annoyance: the know-nothing know-it-all.
(disclaimer before we begin: don't worry, i, and uhhh... everyone else, have stopped being friends with this girl. everyone's sanity and happiness level is much improved.)
i think everyone is familiar with at least one know it all, the constant one-upper, the damper on every party. this person (a) dominates conversation by trying to one-up anything someone else has to say with a better story or unsolicited advice relating to the story and (b) seems to know every. thing. about every. topic. and proceeds to tell you all of this information whether you request it or not. and let's be honest here - you never request it.
but the rare, and far worse, breed is the know-nothing know-it-all. they have all the qualities of a know-it-all but unlike the know-it-all, who you can begrudgingly admit has the facts and experiences to back up his pompous attitude, the know-nothing doesn't have anything relevant to add. ever. she tries to one-up your story about how proud you are of your newly purchased house with a story of how hers is bigger and better - but she rents. she gives you unsolicited advice on your diet and weight - as she eats a plate of fries and claims her decade old 'knee injury' is the reason for her weight gain. she tells you your spending habits are going to put you in debt - when you pay your credit card every month and she's still paying thousands from the card she foolishly opened in college.
sadly, these are all true examples from someone i spent way too long on being friends with. to this day, i can't tell you why, because i still can't name a redeeming quality. why do we hold on to 'friendships' that really aren't friendly at all? is it a girl thing? was it the length of time i knew her? was it the guilty feeling from being her last remaining friend? (i do not claim that about myself, her boyfriend told her that to her face.) and why on earth did it take me so long to realize i was wasting time being a friend to someone who wasn't a friend to me? at least i figured it out eventually.
have you ever experienced someone like this? sometimes, you just have to move on, no matter how long you've known a person, and spend your energy and love on the people who spend their energy and love on you. sure, i ended this particular friendship when i was annoyed and more than heated (she was trying to text argue while i was at a birthday party for a best friend who doesn't even live in this country.) but can you blame me? these are real comments made by her to either myself or another friend (and trust me, they aren't even the worst ones):
"maybe you shouldn't buy that coach purse, you're bad with money." "maybe i can get you a financial adviser for your birthday." "choosing to be a single mom is stupid, maybe you should concentrate on finding a guy first." "maybe you shouldn't have so many beers." "maybe you should try the salad instead of nachos."