cakes

box cake mix + (any) champagne = cupcakes.  yeah you read that right.  do not add anything it says to on the box.  just dump the dry mix in a bowl, mix in the amount in champagne it says to add in water  (i.e. 1 cup of water = 1 cup of champagne) until the batter is just a little lumpy, insert in cupcake tin and bake according to directions on the box.  don't ask me, i just bake them and it works.  just accept the shortcut that is champagne tasting cakes.  we used funfetti mix and some barefoot sparkling moscato (very sweet.)

frosting

guys, don't take me seriously.  none of what i'm about to say is remotely healthy.  if you're one of those suck it up, work out, eat healthy, get a hobby and sleep well type of people, by all means, try that first.  this is for the rest of us in the real world.

my surefire fool proof tips on how to get over a breakup

watch strippers versus werewolves on netflix.  just do it.  and thank Tara.  and while you watch it, concern yourself with the fact that a strip club in the UK is called SilvaDollaz.

stop eating.  the only silver lining in this whole debacle is that i lost 15 lbs in two weeks.  yeah, that's what not eating for two weeks will do for you, 15 lbs.  no appetite, everything tasted terrible and required just too much effort.  if it was harder than tea and saltines and gummy vitamins, it just didn't happen.  but that's two weeks of no money spent, no dishes to be done, no trash to take out.  and now my stomach shrunk all teeny tiny so i eat two bites of something and i'm full.  health is overrated, my wallet and waistline are happy.

make your friends clean your apartment.  Megan came over and got rid of anything and everything ex related.  not a scrap of anything else to look at or hold and wallow over.  and then Meredith felt so bad (and has ocd) that she vacuumed the whole place.  what you don't do: burn photographs.  they create a giant fireball in your kitchen sink and set off the smoke alarm and require you to open windows during 12 degree weather to get all the smoke haze out that you can't see through as you calm your fake-coughing overly dramatic dog.  ask me how i know.

binging and purging.  no not food, i already told you not to eat and anyway that's gross.  i mean clothes.  retail therapy.  new stuff.  in just two days i bought: a planner, perfume, sweat pants, yoga pants, 8 dresses, 6 tops, 6 sweaters, 3 pairs of heels, dress pants, a sequin skirt, jeans, socks, a swimsuit, tights, a hoodie, pjs, and winter boots.  and a partridge in a pear tree.  i'm not even sorry about it, even if the lady who signs for my packages is.  but getting all that new stuff meant i had to significantly purge the old stuff.  i got rid of: 16 dresses, 12 pairs of shoes, 2 shorts, 9 pairs of jeans, 7 pairs of dress pants, 3 swimsuits, 10 skirts, and 42 tops.  the fact that i even had 42 to get rid of is appalling, and i'm apparently a hoarder.  (think about that, even if i only spent $10 per top, which i didn't, that's $420.)  so clean out everything you've been emotionally holding on to and fill the space with new pretty things.  like glitter shoes.

don't ever be alone.  you can't be sad about something you don't have time to think about.  so call and text and whine constantly to your friends and parents to come hang out with you and take you places so you can keep busy, make them buy you things, give you money to gamble with at the casino, and help you still run all your errands despite the fact that you don't own a car.

cuddle a dog.  i plan on doing an entire Hawkeye the Healing Dog post.  suffice it to say, you cannot be upset when this little dancing ball of fluff is licking off your tears and shredding your tissues into a million pieces all over your floor.  not upset about a breakup anyway.

and if all else fails, stalk the twitter account of Jenelle.  it's magic.  if it's late and you want to contact your ex, read Jenelle's twitter til the feeling subsides.

p.s. i think you'll all be surprised to hear what i didn't do - drink.  that's right, two plus weeks of no alcohol.  (apparently drinking and xanax are bad, and i prefer the xanax)  i'm going to be a hoot the next time i have vodka on this empty stomach.

the inspiration word of 2013 - basically, you choose one word that has the potential to inspire you and remind you of how you want to live your life, all year long.  while thinking up which word would ultimately reign over the year, i went through a lot of ideas - simplicity, organize, discipline, enchanting, grateful, inspire, improve, finish, content, acceptance, committed.

and that list right there should give you enough clues as to why i ultimately settled on my word of the year - Less.  i do think i can overwhelm myself with taking on too many things, like that list of words up there shows.  resolutions aren't for everyone, but i find that a new year is a perfect time to really start something you want to do or change, and i'm trying to tackle that in a manageble, simple way.  my resolutions, though fairly few and uncomplicated, do share the common theme of less.  (alright, except maybe watching all my tv series dvds i own.  that's just fun.  i'm on season 2 of the o.c.)  so do a lot of them items on my 101 in 1001 list.  so i think my word will help me remember my resolutions and remind me of the direction in which i'd like to see this year go.

less clutter

less spending

less weight

less distractions

less fast food

less projects

less time wasted

less excuses

less is more, right?  less spending = more saving for what's important.  less weight = more health.  less distractions = more time spent with loved ones.

so there you have it.  my word to live by in 2013.

what's yours?