Things I'm Exceptionally Bad At

October 08, 2014

wow, what a week.  i've been without a computer for 5+ days and it's been horrible.  (first world problems, yes i know.)  but really, it's hard to become dependent on technology and then it goes away.  try working in a law office without a computer.  it was brutal.  thankfully, i didn't need it most of my weekend (sunday's hangover saw to that.)  and now, i have a new one.  so i have returned.  and i'm sure i'll get to those 100+ emails and 200+ unread posts on bloglovin any minute now.

after i get all my settings and programs back to normal.  and after i go buy some chocolately mcdrink thing at mcdonalds so i can get a monopoly piece.  damn you monopoly.

so i'm bad at using my phone for internet, bad at resisting fast food chain marketing ploys, bad at responding to emails.  but good at procrastinating on pinterest.... anyway, other things i'm exceptionally bad at:

- maintaining contact with society without a computer.

- beer pong.  i mean, i get decent once i'm 10 beers in.  but the first few games... it's like, why do i bother?

- using cash.  can't remember it, can't count change, spend it too fast.  experts say it hurts more to spend cash, so if you're trying to be on a budget, don't swipe the card.  for me, it's opposite.  cash tricks me into thinking i'm scrooge mcduck in a money vault.


- keeping my comments to myself.

- wearing high heels.

- travel.  i just like the comforts of home.  and hawkeye.

- dressing for the appropriate weather.  flip flops til i see snow, people.

- waking up before 7 a.m.

- hiding my disdain when people tell me they're pregnant.  like my best friend, meredith:


sorry, mere.  but not really.

- parallel parking.

- shopping.  i like online browsing, but going into physical stores, trying things on, standing in line, dealing with crowds - i hate it.

- being vegan.  because, cheese.  don't even try to tell me about making nachos with nutritional yeast, you're just lying to yourself.

- saying goodbye when i leave the bar.  yes, i ghost.  or irish goodbye.  whatever you want to call it.

- ending sentences with prepositions.  like 'things i'm really bad at.'  whatever, i'm from chicago.  it's what we do here.

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31 comments

  1. I cant f*n parallel park either. and shopping. stop. I cant do it.

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  2. I'll wear flip flops all year round (because when there is snow here, we don't go outside) because they're EASY. And I failed the parallel parking part of my driving test. And backing in.

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  3. I don't get good at beer pong till I'm good and drunk too. And I spend cash like it's nobodies business. It's like free money if it's cash right?

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  4. I'm bad at parallel parking, dealing with crowds and goodbyes. I will not wear flip flops in fall though. Can't do it. Won't do it.

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  5. If you say goodbye to one person then EVERYONE expects you to say bye. "Has anyone seen Sarah?" "Oh she just left, she came through and said bye" "She didn't say bye to me......." Was I supposed to hunt you down? Please, take the pity party else where.

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  6. Ugh McD's monopoly stuff is everywhere and it is making me want McDs SOOO bad!!! I don't eat fast food, but I may have to cave one day soon.

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  7. Damn monopoly! It got me too... Which reminds me....!

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  8. I'm the same way with cash! If it's not in my bank account, I don't treat it like real money.

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  9. I snuck out of a work get-together not long ago and everyone in my office got mad at me. Geez, people... grow up.
    I spend cash as quickly as I get it, too! No pain whatsoever...
    I am bad at making small talk, fixing my hair, and remembering people's names. That last one is really embarrassing!

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  10. all of this makes me like you. so there's that. also monopoly, i can't not play it. god damn mcdonalds. being without a computer IS awful. being vegan- who'd wnat to intentionally do that? also high heels suck.

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  11. I'm a pretty frugal person, but I just blow through cash. If I don't swipe the card, it doesn't count, which is totally illogical.

    Oddly enough, I can't back in to a parking space to save my life. I hate doing it, actively avoid it, and am way outside the lines when I'm forced to back in. I can parallel park anything (moving van on a steep, crowded hill? No problem!) but watching me back a tiny Kia into a huge space is hilarious.

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  12. I'm a pretty frugal person, but I just blow through cash. If I don't swipe the card, it doesn't count, which is totally illogical.

    Oddly enough, I can't back in to a parking space to save my life. I hate doing it, actively avoid it, and am way outside the lines when I'm forced to back in. I can parallel park anything (moving van on a steep, crowded hill? No problem!) but watching me back a tiny Kia into a huge space is hilarious.

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  13. Hahahahaha, ok - I'm sorry but the tshirt pregnancy announcement made me giggle.

    But really being without a computer, you have my deepest sympathies.

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  14. I agree with most of these. I still have my flip flops out. I could never do the Dave Ramsey envelope method of money management. If I use my debit card I can keep tight rein on what I am spending....thanks to the bank calculating it for me. Comments to myself?!? Oh I could never do that. I encountered a chick I hated over the weekend and spent the entire weekend saying bitchy things to her. I guess its a good thing she is so dumb she didn't notice.

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  15. Haha! I feel you on most of these. But really, how do people give up cheese? I can understand a diabetic giving up sweets, a vegetarian giving up meat, but giving up cheese? Why?!

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  16. haha i get all of these. esp the high heels thing - how are those even comfortable?!

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  17. I'm terrible at high heels! How do people wear them every day? I wear flats...every day. And parallel parking...I can't even do it. I work in downtown St. Louis and anytime the ladies want to go to lunch I have an excuse as to why I can't drive...mainly because I couldn't park when we got to wherever we are going!

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  18. Eye contact makes me extremely uncomfortable and flip flops forever!!

    However, I can parallel park like a boss, but I don't tell many people because I feel like it's a very manly skill to have.

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  19. I am the same with cash. I spend it so much faster, cards forever. I can parallel park to save everyone's life, its so mandatory where i'm from. I don't think I could ever be vegan, I like cheese and sour cream more than anything.

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  20. The Irish Goodbye is my signature move.

    I can't wear heels.

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  21. I have a close friend who is vegan and there are quite a few vegan meals & snacks I can get on board with but nutritional yeast and fake cheese just seem so sketchy to me…especially the fake cheese, the ingredient list on that is terrifying.

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  22. I'm with you on travel, even if I didn't get deathly sick traveling I would still prefer to be at home. If I leave home for a week's vacation I'm usually ready to come back by Wednesday.

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  23. LOL I really can't dress for the weather either. I wear boots and its too hot. Flip Flops and I'm freezing. No jacket and it downpours. SO bad!

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  24. I am really bad at before 7, but that is progress cuz it used to be bad at before noon. Love the list

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  25. Love this post. I'm pretty much bad at most of these things too.

    And, really, why do vegans even bother with that "cheese" stuff? It's gross.

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  26. lmfao - so true about the travel; I'm a sucker for my own home man. I look forward to getting home BEFORE I fucking leave for work and when I get here I plop on my sofa with the same satisfaction some do when reaching the peak of Mt. Everest. Plus, we're adopting a cat in the next few weeks and I am DYING to get my hands on our new kitten >:) Oh yeah! Agreed on the cheese - I can live off cheese and potatoes. I ghost now :) Have a great weekend Stephanie! -Iva

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  27. I love the Irish Goodbye, quite different than the Irish whisper. I really want to cut back on dairy, but hello cheese!!!!! Nutritional yeast, just no!!

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  28. I'm almost always guilty of the Irish Goodbye. It's just so much easier. Plus, a lot of times I am leaving because I've decided I shouldn't be in public anymore. And in those cases, a goodbye would only prolong the potential for embarrassing myself.

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  29. Why is it that beer pong is so hard sober?!

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  30. The fact that you're even aware that ending a sentence with a preposition is wrong makes me happy... but I'm a grammar nerd.

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