You know you have it - the one place that's a hard no when someone suggests it on a Saturday night. Generally, I'm a bar lover. Dive bars being my favorite, naturally. But even if it isn't a total dive with no crowd and a crack machine, I can tolerate a lot - heck, my best friend used to drag me clubbing and I survived (RIP Republic, you weren't so bad.) I'll even willingly go to a lot of other bars that regularly make 'Chicago's worst bars' lists, like John Barleycorn, Carols, and Mothers. I happen to love Mothers. But there's a couple that get a resounding no from me, every time (and see, I have photos of myself at each place besides #2, I'm not basing this on nothing):
Deuces and Diamonds. A lot of places in Wrigleyville can be douchey, because it's where frat boys and overgrown frat boys hang out. But Deuces is the lead float in the douche bar parade, which is really saying something in this neighborhood. If you actually choose to go here, I probably hate you and we have nothing in common. It's the Clark street capital of salmon colored shorts, popped colors, entitlement, and sunglasses at night. It's one long 'My New Haircut' video. (Which is hilarious to watch online for 3 minutes, but not in reality for 3 hours.) The fact that their outdoor area has a chlorinated mini fountain they encourage you to wade in? I just can't.