Questions You Didn't Ask

I found a list of 200 questions to ask someone, floating around on Pinterest.  It's where I go for blog content ideas.  There's no way I was going to answer them all, clearly, but I quickly scanned the list and some fun ones popped out at me that I saw fit to share here.  The list I randomly plucked these questions from can be found here, if you'd like to answer some of your own.

What is one of your favorite smells?
Snow.  Snow and ice, my absolute favorite.

If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?
Clarissa.  How much better would it be to have a blog named Clarissa Explains It All, and my name actually be Clarissa.  Right?

What stereotype do you completely live up to?
Everything they say about Scorpios being stubborn, obsessive, petty, vindictive, manipulative, vengeful, little assholes who never forget anything.  Am I this way because I'm a Scorpio?  Or do I know that's what they say about Scorpios and I've just chosen to live up to it my whole life?  The world may never know.  Chicken and egg, man.

What TV show or movie do you refuse to watch?
Keeping Up with the Kardashians.  Never seen it.  I only know of Lord Disick's antics through memes, and he's the only one I'm on board with anyway.  Movie, anything I know is going to be sad about a dog or have a dog die.  Old Yeller, Marley and Me, shit like that.  Not going to happen.

Who's your go to band or artist when you can't decide what to listen to?
Matchbox 20

What could you give a 40 minute presentation on with absolutely no preparation?
Hawkeye.  Dogs in general.  Drinking games.  Blogging.  Chicago.  The KonMari Method.  Minimalism.  And I mean, if you just want me to repeat the Empire Records script word for word and act out all the parts, I can do that too.  (and Mean Girls, and this Treasure Island.)

What is one thing you really want but can't afford?
A chauffeur.

What did you think you would grow out of but haven't?
My stuffed bear, my mom taking care of me when I'm sick, Olsen Twins movies and TV shows.

What is something you will NEVER do again?
A shot of Malort.  I try not to look back and think 'oh yeah I regret that' because every decision teaches you something... but I regret ever taking a shot of that shit, truly.  I suppose if you offered me $500 million dollars I would do it, but short of that, ain't happening.

What are your cool stories about your scars?
None of my stories are cool.  Let's see, in reverse order - in law school I had to get my gall bladder out, so I have the little laparoscopic scars from that; when I was 16 I had surgery on my feet to cut one bone off my left foot so there's a small scar on top there, and on my right foot there's a long scar along the side from them cutting it and resetting it with pins; when I was 14 I fell off my bike and had to get my chin stitched up; when I was 10 or so I was playing backstage at school and fell on the pulley system for the curtains so there's a scar from that across my right knee cap; and I had kidney surgery when I was 9 so there's a long horizontal scar low on my stomach.  That's everything, nothing fun.

If you could make one rule that everyone had to follow, what rule would you make?
I mean, like a legit one that needs to be made?  No one can hurt an animal, ever.  An also legit one that needs to be made but is less serious?  Everyone must chew very quietly with their mouths closed.

What is the most annoying question people ask you?
'Do you ever want to meet your real parents?'  This question will always launch me into a not so kind tirade, so just don't bother.  Notice it's in the phrasing, the part I take issue with.  Being adopted, I get tons of questions, all the time.  I definitely don't mind the question 'do you want to meet your birth parents?'  (Answer is no, by the way.)  See the difference?  Implying that my parents who picked me out at the hospital the moment I was wheeled in and have cared for me every single day for the last 32 and counting years are anything but my real parents is downright insulting, obnoxious and all around makes you look like an ignorant, insufferable asshole.  Think before you open your mouth.  Mini rant over.  But seriously, don't ever ask me that.

There are two types of people in this world.  What are the two types?

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