What I Actually Do When I'm Sick

Of course, after my ridiculous February, I get massively sick.  I ended up leaving work at about 2 in the afternoon on Thursday, went to sleep around 5 and didn't get up again until Saturday morning.  So rough.  I suck at being sick, because it never happens.  It used to happen all the time, but I've had almost every organ removed that you can without dying (tonsils, appendix, gall bladder) so I don't get sick much any more.  In fact, John can't recall a time that I've been this sick since we've been dating, so in 5 years, this is my first time getting sick.  And I've been a big, huge, dramatic baby about it.

What you're supposed to do when you get sick:
- Get a normal but adequate amount of rest
- Drink fluids like tea with honey
- Eat bland foods like crackers and soup
- Attempt some easy tasks from your regular routine, like showering and laundry
- Visit a doctor, take what they recommend

What I actually do when I'm sick:
- Leave work (do you not just hate people who still go out in the world while sick and infect everyone else?)
- Get my bear
- Get in bed and sleep at least 24 hours
- Whine excessively to John, via text message because he won't come near me

- Commiserate with Tara and text whine to each other, because we get sick at the same time and are equally dramatic
- Consume nothing but pedialyte popsicles and coffee
- Eventually move from the bed to the couch and watch Pitch Perfect 1, 2, and 3 on repeat
- Attempt every home remedy listed on the internet for curing a sore throat, find none of them effective, take a Norco instead, get super nauseous and immediately regret it
- Consider repeating the process when it wears off exactly 4 hours later
- Finally ask my dad (a doctor) what to do, get no helpful advice ('ride it out and ibuprofen' lol no), and go back to coffee and pedialyte popsicles
- Write a blog post about it
- Retreat back to the couch with my uber lazy dog who has been thrilled to have someone in bed with her for 3 straight days

- Decide that I'll either kill the germs or go out on the good stuff

We'll see how it goes.  It can't get worse?

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