Friday, May 8, 2020

Closing the Loop and Just Hitting Publish

It's been hard to write a blog post. It's not that I don't have topic ideas, because I have plenty of things I want to talk about. Simple, joyful, slow living and homemaking related things. At the moment though, it's very hard to get to those topics because there's too many other thoughts in my brain that are in the way. The way I deal with this is to 'close the loop', which is a phrase often used in connection with productivity coaching and anti-procrastination techniques. Getting all these thoughts down on paper, anything from your worries to your grocery list, helps to 'close the loop' within your brain so it'll stop the merry-go-round and you can finish the task at hand.

My task at hand is blog post writing. I've actually been highly productive on everything else - I took apart the closet system to deep clean the brackets, for crying out loud. Productivity peak over here. But I keep putting off blog writing because it felt disingenuous to write about anything else, anything positive, while thoughts of sheer frustration kept cycling through my mind on repeat. So here I am, getting those thoughts down on paper. So to speak. I did think about just putting this into a journal rather than hitting publish but some things need to be said.

My Recent Frustrations

Other stupid people. Honestly, that's about it. John was part of the team yesterday that drives around the special covid-19 response unit. If you have the symptoms, they are the ones that transport you to the hospital. It had been a relatively quiet unit to be on while people actually stayed home in April but the second the mayor lifts restrictions in the slightest? People took advantage or straight up just started ignoring the rules altogether and John ran for 8 hours straight without even eating just to transport all the people with symptoms. And shit like that really, REALLY pisses me off.

Wear a f*cking mask, stay the f*ck home. I don't feel like this is a difficult concept to grasp so I'm not sure why I see so many people blatantly disregarding it. Doing so is literally killing our first responders. So do not even try to argue to me otherwise because your opinion is trash.

I am annoyed by people's general lack of care for anyone but themselves, but I am by no means surprised by it. People, especially in large groups, are particularly stupid. Perhaps that's why I enjoy this 'quarantine' lifestyle. The less I interact with humans and the more I interact with animals instead, the better I feel. John also got me a live plant, I named him Carlisle, and I like him more than people too. If John didn't have to interact with these Darwin award winners either, life would be pretty great.

Changing the Content I Consume

Unfortunately, hearing about these things from John isn't something that I can tune out of my life so in order to not hear about it the entire rest of my day as well, I need to mute any other medium that reports on stupidity or is generally so negative that it gets my blood pressure rising. I started my newest 101 list and one of my favorite goals on there that I start working on is to change the content I consume. I'm not sure I could have picked a better time to do so because not only are people showing their true colors but my tolerance for so many types of content (negative, political, etc.) is at an all time low.

The news is out, of course. I'm trying hard not to read internet news either, but that's tough. I've been unfollowing and muting like crazy. It's me, yes - I don't have the mental capacity to deal with certain things right now - but also, it's them. Yes, it is. I won't sugarcoat it. Expressing panic or grief is one thing (even if you're generally pretty privileged!), and I'm totally there to support that, but complaining about having to wear masks or that you can't get your nails done is quite another and I'm just not having it right now.

Part of me definitely thinks "good lord that is not a legitimate thing to be complaining about" and part of me of course thinks "everyone has to deal with this in their own way." So I'm all over the place. But at least can we admit that if your biggest complaint is that you're tired of hearing the phrase "flatten the curve", or that you have to wear a mask to the grocery store, that you're having a pretty f*cking good day? And although 'choose patience' is also one of my 101 goals, and it's on there for a reason, I have another 3 years to work on it so today is not that day.

But here I am, complaining about people complaining. It's a vicious and ridiculous circle and it's the number one loop in my brain that needs to be closed. No more reading/listening to this misplaced, misguided complaining and therefore no more getting frustrated and complaining about it myself. 

That's all I have to say on that. Loop closed. Sunshine and goddamn rainbows in my next post, or so help me.
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